November 10, 2018
I recently returned from a weeklong seminar with my mentor, John F. Barnes, PT LMT. The participants were other Expert level therapists taking the seminar for the first time, or repeating. I was repeating, and it gave me the opportunity to see how different just 3 years can make.
In 2015, when I attended for the first time, I was still in much pain, but much more released from the fascial restrictions that threaded through my system like a webbed strait-jacket. I would find through that week, that my body wanted to do more, but that the belief system of my thinking mind kept giving me messages that “I should be careful”, “you might fall” to name a few. Somehow, I went for a hike up a pretty challenging Red Rock route and followed my body. As I did so, the warning messages, the fearful messages got fainter and fainter and fainter, left way back at the half-way mark of the hike. I would learn to listen to my body intelligence more, and let go of how the thinking mind had taken over all control of what I thought I would never get to do again.
This past October 2018, I attended for my second time, in no pain, but more feeling the tensions that still remained. I could still hear the faint voices of caution and fear, but my body intelligence/intuition voice had grown much stronger. I followed this voice and got to do many things differently than I usually would. I got to connect more with my colleagues, got to climb the Red Rocks and even go back down for some colleagues to encourage their joining the group. I got to connect to my playful side in such a strong way that I wondered when the last time was that I truly was at play, without a worry or concern.
Upon return home to my new surroundings of Pennsylvania, I would get to feel for these concepts and beliefs of worry and concern. I would get to experience over and over again how hard we each and all hold onto worry and concern as perhaps a mark of being kind or thoughtful person. And I would get to practice non-attachment - the practice of letting go of over-attachment in particular for me. In letting go, I would see over again how attachment is about an old belief of needing to have or be in control - something I needed a long time ago because of past traumas, abuses, self-abuse.
Now, I get to let go of control because what I have realized is that I have no control. I also realize that I trust myself more and more to surf the ripples and waves of life, excited as that state of the unexpected allows the best parts of me to be challenged.